Teeny Tiny Reviews

Often, I find a book/series that I love so much that I can't even express how much I love it. You just gotta accept the fact that its great and will change your life. This page is going to be devoted to the tiniest reviews, so I can just blurt out how it made me feel!


TV

House of Cards 


Oh my goodness, the filmography, the writing, the relationship, the shocks! I have never watched a political drama (yet to watch The Thick of It) and would totes have assumed it would be boring as hell. HOW WRONG. I love this peep into American politics and have come to love/hate the anti-hero that is Frank Underwood. The manipulations, when he addresses the viewers...it's just grand. It is shot very stylishly and sometimes I'd pause it just to admire. By the way, I watch absolutely everything with subtitles anyway, which is a naughty habit, but for this one it was pretty essential so I wasn't like whaaaaaaaa?! Review done, *taps desk with ring*

Hannibal

I did have to be persuaded to watch this one, as I'm massively squeamish! But after watching Season 1 + 2, I'm glad I did. I must confess, I may have only watched 85% has I had to avert my gaze so much from the gruesomeness! However the plot was fantastic, completely original and kept you guessing. Hannibal's cheeky references to his habit and the WEIRD way you started to fancy him even though he was a psychopath with a naughty penchant for eating humans. Again, veeeeeeeeery stylistic but it such a good way. AND, last but not least, THE WAY HE PREPARES FOOD! I have never seen anything cooked so deliciously and you really start to wonder whether you'd have a taste, yanno, just for the mouth explosion. I also watched this on NowTV, which doesn't offer subtitles. I had to read the script online just to keep up!


Books

Daughter of Smoke and Bone Trilogy


Words cannot express my love for this trilogy. It's everything I ever wanted in a set of three books. The different worlds, the magic, plots and characters that were massively original and I'd never read anything like it. Which in this day and age is a more difficult thing to accomplish! Whenever I think of something I want to write, I have this trilogy in mind as inspiration. It is fantasy and young adult, but hey, that's ma jam. Just go read it, now. That's it, drop whatever you're doing and head to the Kindle website. Now. (Okay, just had a look and the new book covers are pretty cheesy with a girl with some masks on - ignore that and buy!)

HELP ME I’M POOR


Okay not poor as in the deprived way, just poor as in the ‘those-hair-curlers-I’ve-wanted-for-a-year deprived’ way. Oh god, I’m a sentence in and I already sound a privileged biatch!

New title: HELP ME, I HAVE NO SPARE MONEY FOR LUXURIES

I feel like there's some issues that people just don't tell you about:
1. How women poo when giving birth 
2. How brutal it is paying your overdraft back

Let’s save #1 for another day, and have a look at #2. I can’t believe what a walk in the park university was for me. Rent paid, check. No council tax, check. I didn’t get any bursaries, but my parentals (thanks ma and pa) gave me money for food every month. I worked 4 hours a week (A WEEK) at Primark for a little extra moolah. They knew not to ask if I wanted any overtime because the answer was always a resounding nope!


Me a la Uni

Even then, when I wanted a few more clothes I happily chipped into my overdraft and did a huge shopping spree at Primarni (so about £35). At the time I was like yay, free money and free clothes! When the time comes to pay this back, I’ll be happily in a £30,000 salary job and it’ll be no skin off my nose! YAY I’M AN IDIOT, WHAT AM I LIKE!

Fast forward a year, and here we are! The ruckus to get rent together every month, that crappy council tax, those bloomin’ bills! Food, travel money...EURGH. It’s April (edit: oh god it’s May) and my overdraft is due in November and I’m firmly shoving my head in the sand as I haven’t paid a smidge back yet! I also won the bad luck lottery with banking with Halifax, as they want it all back within one year. My smug Natwest-banking boyfriend is given three years, in £500 amounts at a time! Also, why does my student discount run out at the time I need it most? There needs to be post-university, welcome-to-the-real-world discounts!

Every month I break even and have zero chance to save. I’m working praaatically full time, but I’m also getting taxed as if I have three jobs, c’monnnn tax office, sort it out!

I haven’t been on a holiday in quite a few years and sometimes I just stop whatever I’m doing and think: I’d really love to be on a beach right now.

Anyhoo, here is a list of things that can help when you’re scrimping and (attempting) to save:
  1. Firstly, congratulate yourself on how bohemian you are and how much you are rocking this penniless artist lifestyle. You’re living the hippy dream, yo!
  2.  Going through a chronic-broke stage is character building and something most people go through. You’re learning the value of money and how luxuries really are luxuries. You need this experience to lecture your future kids!
  3. Yay, in a time when the internet and consumerism is indulging everyone’s materialistic side, you’re refusing to participate and learning self-discipline, kudos!





Okay now that we have comforted your drained spirit, let’s get practical:

  1. Even if you’re massively scrimping, you can still afford little indulgences! It’s much better to plan little treats in your budget than to tell yourself you’re allowed absolutely nothing. It’s likely you’ll get so fed up than you will reassure yourself that you deserve that £30 foundation after all the hardship you’ve been through. It’s like dieting so excessively that at the end you give up and eat Macdonald’s every day. See what you can afford! Even if it’s a wee walk around the Poundshop, a nice £1 candle here, a £1 mug, a £1 nail varnish. I come back and look at my £3 splurge, and it’s nice that I feel just as happy with them as I did with a £25 make-up haul.
  2. Make-up dupes are your best friend. This is no time for brand snobbery! I would love an Anastasia Dipbrow but I would prefer to eat for the next 5 days.
  3. Temporarily unfollow/block those links that make you covet! As a rule, if you come off feeling worse than when you began your Instagram scroll, figure out what is make you feel rubbish and get rid!
  4. Gyms are unnecessary for the broke gal. There’s too many free YouTube exercise vids to justify paying for it!
  5. Try not to eat unhealthily because it’s cheap. This is one of the things wrong with the world! Plan meals, buy from markets, buy reduced and freeze, be savvy!
  6. Sad about your lack of nights out? I quote Cat Deeley from SM:TV live when I say, deal with it! It’s a sad fact of life that these things have to be sacrificed at some point. Dry your tears when you see your facebook friends album full of cray cray adventures/road trips/ nightclub visits. Put on your onsie, get some chocolate, put on Spy Kids 3 and proudly toast yourself in the mirror with, ‘I’M AN ADULT’. It does help when you can skip around the next day trilling around the house as they weep with their hangovers. (They don’t get hangovers you say, who are these aliens?!?)


Any other perspectives/tips? I think I’m going to be suffering with this for a while, I need all the help I can get!

I wish you luck!


Jess xxxxxxxxx