Mulling Over Money

Just come back from taking what I imagine are going to be award-winning photographs of some fireworks. Not really, as they're pretty shitty and were taken from a carpark of the event as we were too cheap to buy tickets. Hey, you can't privatise the sky, man!

We were just going to go to a park and watch everyone's fireworks, but couldn't as we found out that fireworks aren't like the stars and not viewable to everyone in the world, darn it. So we had to get closer to the main town event and I thought absolutely no one else would have the same idea. Turns out everyone had the same idea. It felt like we were the cheap peasants packed into poor people stalls at a Shakespearian play. I had a feeling of unanimity with everyone and tried to share this by nodding at them, but then the families with children started to edge away. There's just no togetherness with fellow peasants anymore.

I spent today in town, honestly TK Maxx is amazing for home beauties! We have a bookcase that has a really weird design that means you can't really put any books on (?!). Therefore it became the dumping ground and housed all the clutter I collect. I thought no more and toddled off to TK Maxx to buy some precious items and make it look beautiful, as it can only really hold decorative stuff! The Buddha (wait, just because she's in that position is she a Buddha, or does she have another name?) was £7.99, the globe was £5.99 and the copper birds were £2.50 each! Also collected a green glass bottle from Poundland (!) and some frames from Wilkinsons. The smaller square one was only £2.50! The bigger one was £7 squid. Then I took it all home and told my boyfriend he could decide what he likes and give me half the money for them. Luckily he knew full well that's Jess-speak for cough up half for the lot, yah flea bag!

I also found a wine bomber jacket which is one of the winter jackets I want to acquire this year. I've ordered one from Lasula, but it came it was way too puffy and I returned it. Then this one was a much better fit so I bought it for 30 squid. Got home and thought nope, not the size I want. I used to buy the petite section more and I can really tell the difference with some clothes! So I started googgling, shopping, ebaying, amazoning for the perfect wine bomber jacket, thinking I'd take the TKmaxx one back. I found a petite Missguided one and was going to buy two so I could get the size absolutely perfect. Got to the till, billing details in, delivery details in, about to select order, aaaaaaaaaaand that moment came where you think do I really need this?! Who buys several winter jackets? I can't really afford it and I think there's other styles I want more. Having a full time wage I've really got to start stopping myself from getting whatever I want whenever I want it, it's not good for the spoilt child within! I could buy clothes upon clothes, and never save for a holiday I'd love. Or an experience I'd carry with me forever. Though I did see this oversized leopard print coat that was unbelievably soft and warm! But must. resist.

It's like that time I thought I had discovered the secret to online roulette by betting 2p at a time. I won £15 quid easy and it only took me an hour and a half. I did the math and could definitely do this instead of a full time job and get an equivalent salary. Googled it and guess what, no taxes to pay either. But then I thought wait, that's too easy? How will I keep myself grounded with all that money? How will I choose what to buy what I can buy everything? How will I tell my parents, when they've spent their lives working their socks off for something I can do by sitting on my settee and watching Friends at the same time? Where's the morals in this? Turns out, I had no need to worry as it was a particular scheme of Sky Vegas that the introductory free money was incred easy to win back and double. But after that you're on your own. And guess what, house always wins!

(I know because I googled many different strategies, filled out a whole notebook, made several new email addresses and personas so I could get the new customer deals, lost about £70 in total, received a scolding from my boyfriend and concluded that I have a gambling problem like Marge off The Simpsons and should never touch roulette again)(Though I played Blackjack at a wedding and got double back, THE THRILL)

BUT it is a strange sensation to have money to be able to buy things, because just because I CAN doesn't mean I SHOULD on that particular item. I'm closer to paying my overdraft off which I'm so happy about, but after that I really need to consider long-term savings house wise, and every little helps. One of my housemates from Uni had a little savings pot that she had managed to build up after years of part time working. I couldn't understand when she would say she couldn't go out because she had no money, because HELLO YOU HAVE THREE GRAND, YOU HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY. Whereas I would extend my student overdraft because I fancied a wee Primark shopping spree. That definitely comes back to bite you in the ass! My sensible friend says it takes a different mindset to save, you have to consider the money completely off-limits. I'm in awe of how someone my age can be so practical so whenever she gives me life tips I scribble it down furiously in my brain. To return the favour I tell her how particularly good her eyebrows are looking today.

But yes, over life I've gathered that doing what you want without restraint = bad.

And there's so many films and stories that tell me materialism only ends in disaster and misery, and that I definitely don't need 4 different winter coats. I suppose I'd be warm, but really inside I'd feel cold. Drama.

(I definitely need to keep buying peach lipsticks till I find the right one though, then I'll stop I promise!)

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Please Note: That when I said the sentence 'Having a full time wage I've really got to start stopping myself from getting whatever I want whenever I want it' I don't mean I'm rolling in it and getting designer designer designer. I have the cheapest taste in the world, so when I said 'whatever I want' I'm talking about that £1 Primark eye mask, those £3 slippers, or that £2 novelty bag from Ebay Hong Kong. I may be earning full time salary, but it's definitely a starter salary and a girl gots bills.